Saying, Ah, well, maybe later to running

It is cold.  It is very cold. I have not been sleeping as ms. maya has decided that the middle of the night is the best time to pace the floor and be an all around pain in the ass. So, there are my excuses.  While I sit here now they seem like really lame excuses, but they seemed like justifiable reasons.

Now we start again, I have committed to running an 8K in Frederick in April, so now with some goal maybe it will be easier to get ass out of bed and get to gym.  Starting tomorrow.  Tomorrow the gym and the treadmill.

On another goal- I am reading Life Makeovers by Cheryl Richardson. I am not really sure if I am buying into yet; I might be over the self-help boom. It seems so repetitive, and lacking in creativity or inspiration. But what the hell, i bought it at the used bookstore, I should try and get my $3 worth, right?  So 52 weeks to make over my life.  Should be easy.  Exercise one to follow:

My five most important accomplishments:

1. Earning my MSW with a stellar GPA.

2. Establishing myself as an asset to whatever organization I am working for.

3. Establishing my independence (ability to care for myself, ability to humor/entertain myself , shown I can move far far away and be just fine).

4. The courage to leave a comfortable job (teaching) and start all over again in a new career and in a new place.

5. Creation and nurturing of a small but awesome circle of friends.

That wasn’t so bad; surprising, i thought it would be easier. Exercise Two to follow.

Saying, Oh Alright to Running

I started running. it wasn’t fun. It was too cold and the roads around me are too hilly.  I ran for 30 minutes (well walked and ran) just like my running book told me to. I might have tried running too fast the first day.  i was really winded after only being out for 20 minutes.  Today I was smarter. I walked for 5 minutes first then I did a slow jog in burst of 2-3 minutes with 1 minute of walking in between.

Things I liked about 2 days of running:

• the feeling of power and pride once I have finished the 30 minutes
• the feeling of aliveness (a word??) in my legs a few hours after the run
• the time to myself, not thinking about all the other things I should/could be doing
• the pride that I am doing what I told myself I was going to do.
• the head nods from other runners on the path

Things I hope get better:

• the fit of my shoes- I am pretty sure they are too small, but they are new, unreturnable, and gonna have to work for right now.
• the hurt in my shins- had shin splints once, sucked a lot
• the weather- I hate the feeling in my ears when it is too cold
• my ability to keep my hair out of my face.
• my speed and level of fitness- I hate that because I took a year off from exercise that not only have I gained weight, but I have lost fitness as well

I am sure there are more things that will fit into both of these categories, but for right now.  I am running. As soon as I finish here, I will set my alarm for 7 a.m. so I can run for 30 minutes tomorrow.

A Goal: Say Yes to Running

I was going to divide these goals into section and then expound for god knows how long each section, with strategies and tactics to reach each of these goals.  Then as the days started to drag by and i hadn’t posted anything, it became apparent that I was repeating the same pattern.  So starting with a goal that is obvious enough that it doesn’t need much expounding. Running. Simple. Start Running. Tomorrow. Start Running Tomorrow.

Alright a little expounding. Because I know I won’t complete anything that doesn’t have a deadline or a reward at the end. The deadline is a 10K by the end of spring with the eventual hopes of running a 1/2 marathon by the end  of the year. If I like it, I will keep running competitively, if not then I will try something else next year.

Each year I plan to get healthy. I create an elaborate plan to do so. I give up on the plan by month 3 or 4. In an attempt to avoid this trap, this time I simply run.  Now in an effort of full disclosure, I have done a little preparation. I bought a book on running for women.  it is really nothing more than a safety blanket. it makes me feel better to have a plan, so the plan is read the book, but WHILE reading start running.

Tomorrow I start running. Even though I haven’t had time to go out and buy the pedometer I wanted. Tomorrow I start running.

When I said once a day

I really met once a month.  Damn those typos.  Great news is I am not even really bothered that I didn’t make the goal- cause that would be me focusing on perfection rather than progression.

Today’s topic is more of a list than anything else.  In honor of my trapper keeper metaphor- this post is a place to write a to-do list of sorts and it will probably be updated/edited frequently as I think of and finalize these goals.

This is the year of stretching myself and taking risks.  The year starts from a place of yes, a place that offers space for failure. I read something yesterday about investing that is going to be the motto for the rest of the year.  Google investment strategy allows for 10% that is pure fancy/high risk.  The CEO said that if at the end of the year, you don’t look back and say “we shouldn’t have done that then you aren’t taking enough risks or trying hard enough.”  I am actually excited about looking back at the end of the year and deciding what it was that I shouldn’t have done.  Of course, lessons already learned, such as high credit card debt or unhealthy eating don’t count. These are lessons that are new and are learned from thinking and trying not waiting and hoping.

As I have pontificated enough and the post may get to long for editing purposes, I think each goal category will be its own post.  One rule for the goals and tactics to achieve is that they must all be positive in nature. No- “no more soda” instead it shall be “replace soda with healthier option.

Let’s see what a little risk will bring.

And Again

I am not going to write about the cycle I keep repeating and how I really don’t understand why I can’t keep at something.  It’s boring.  I don’t know why my resolve and perseverance wane, but they do.  That’s it; they do. But I am back and with a vengeance, too. Who knows for how long but right now, shot out of the gate is what I did.

I am also not going to write about how i wish the blog were perfect, how I wish it had a theme, a plan, a strategy, even a fancy backdrop thingie.  I am going to love it just as it is and appreciate it for its utility.  I am not going to avoid posting here until I have a plan for each post, which means the posts won’t be as well written.  That was the point from the beginning though was to deal with the procrastination that the perfectionism brings.  I shall not become my mother, well at least not in that way- oh and if you are listening, oh great creator/planner, I’d like to avoid ending up with her feet, too.

So from now on the blog is a place to simply write things down.  Ideas, thoughts, plans, musings, whatever.  That’s it- more of an online notebook or trapper keeper, rather than a start at great literature.

Before closing though, maybe I should make a few goals for myself and my writing-(it can’t be helped without one I will just feel empty inside).  I would like to post something every day. Not something perfect, just something.

Tomorrow’s post- Great ideas

Judgement vs. Experience

I’ll take the first one any day. I will never understand why experience is touted over judgement.  Isn’t the whole point of experience to build better judgement and possibly even wisdom. If a person’s 35 years of experience don’t bring better judgement than is the experience anything more than just that. If a person starts a career with great judgment, aren’t those the people who usually climb the ladder of success faster.  Isn’t this the meaning of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.  I don’t believe this supposedly American addage implies that a person who toils away at the same job with the same results is successful but instead stagnant or in some cases satiated.

Why wouldn’t we want a president who has shown clear judgment and the willingness to listen and adapt to situations and advice of those around him?  I think a lot of this not enough experience crap is playing well because of the last 8 years of the decider.  People were fooled by the last fool who impressed upon them that his job was to make all the decisions and run the country.  In reality a president is supposed to lead, and the best leaders are the ones who listen with an open mind and then make decisions based on opinions of those who may know more than he does or may have more experience in an area than he does.  I am pretty sure Lincoln one of America’s favorite presidents had very little government experience, but what he did was surround himself with people who would foster debate and challenge him. This was how great policy and things manifested in his time.  It wasn’t because he had been in office for more than 20 years and touted himself the decider of all things.

Why are Americans so willing to believe that this country belongs to anyone other than the citizens.  This isn’t the president’s country; it isn’t a dictatorship where we simply toil away to do his bidding, at least it doesn’t have to be. My president is leader who inspires people to step up and serve. My president makes me believe that change for the better is possible, not just change for change’s sake. My president involves people in the process even those he may not agree with because he doesn’t see himself as the decider but instead as an agent of change.

Procrastination

Why is that I must feel the pressure in order to see something to completion?  It is evident in all parts of my life: school, work, personal, and now even in this goals/points/hockey tix thing.  Here it is August 25th and I am 40 points short of my goal in order to get not only me but my two bestests their tix too.  Do I feel the pressure?  Yes, has it forced me to buckle down and get to it?  Well.. almost.

Almost, I am counting points and making plans and counting and checking, and planning, but….. tonight… while there was a mad dash to get the yarn and purse handles to finish the two knitted projects that will bring in 12 points, there was also…… Wendy’s.  So pressure, yes, enough to make me get in my car, enough that I am drinking my vegetable points, but not enough to totally inconvenience my life.  You would think being as organized and such the planner that I am that i wouldn’t be a procrastinator, but alas… I guess I wouldn’t say I am procrastinator, because i never wait until the last minute to start something, I just wait until the last minute to finish it.

But finish it I do. Now only 39 points left and there is a hood to be knit.

A Problem

I really do have one.  Recently I became addicted to podcasts. I am listening mainly to knittting podcasts as well as some liberal media podcasts, since there doesn’t seem to be a way to get any real (read liberal) news other than NPR.  I have found a few knitting podcasts that I really like, some that I haven’t had a chance to listen to yet, and one that I am not really sure I like.  Now mind you I have listened to 35 episodes of the one I am not really sure that I like.  I feel like I am supposed to like her, most knitters like her and the podcasters I really like LOVE her. I keep listening, not only do I keep listening but I actually force myself to listen by not allowing myself to listen to the one I really like until I have caught up with the one I don’t really like.  You should also not here that each of the not so liked podcasts is approximately an hour long, of course I fast forward through most of the music so it takes me approximately 30 minutes or so to listen to each one, but with 35 under my belt that is 17.5 hours of my life I won’t get back. To be fair, usually I am doing something else while listening like walking, metroing, or working but still I could be listenting to the one I really like because there are 40 of them I haven’t listened to yet or I could be listening to one of the 20 that I haven’t yet tried, but no I force myself to listen to the one that doesn’t really appeal to me.

Why do I feel the need to do this?  Is this a good quality?  One you would call discipline?  Or is it a form of self-torture?  Is it my way of telling myself I don’t deserve the good stuff until I deal with the bad stuff first?  Like no dessert until vegetables?

While the answers to these questions are important, right now I must be off to catch up on some podcasts.  I think I am going to give her 5 more episodes and then if I am really sure I don’t like it, I just skim the rest.

Workout Blahs:

Nothing worse than running on the treadmill and getting bored.  If I am not challenged, then I am ready to go and by go I mean to get my ass off and move on to something else. In order to challenge myself I sometimes set goals like: run until the song is over, run until you reach a certain number of calories, run until you reach a certain number of seconds (this one usually doesn’t work). The one I have found to be most effective lately is to run sprints for 30 seconds at a time, consistently increasing the time.  Then I found that I can’t remember what I did the day before so I don’t know if I am improving or just tricking myself. Hence this post, with the following workout schedule posted here at least now I can come back and check periodically to see if I am actually improving.

Cardio:

At the high point of my gym life I was running 4 miles a day which took about 45 minutes.  Currently I am running 3 miles and it is taking 33 minutes. The incline is 4.0. I start with a 1 minute warm-up at 3.6-3.8 and then move to running at 6.0-6.2 with short burst of 1 minute to 30 seconds each all the way up to 7.2-7.4.  The running/sprinting last approximately 7 minutes (no less than 5 and no more than 10). Then I walk at 35.-3.8 for one to two minutes depending on how long the running was.  I do 15 minutes or so (no less and at least 1.5 miles) and then do free weights for arms or legs.  Then after free weights I do the same cardio activity.

Arms:

All in sets of 12

12 lb bicep curls 3 sets
10 lb shoulder raise 3 sets
8 lb front shoulder raise 3 sets
8 lb tricep extension 3 sets
16 lb tricep overhead
10 lb bent row alternation 3 sets
Legs:

All in sets of 12

Lunges with 5 lbs 3 sets
Squats with 5 lbs 3 sets toes pointed forward
Squats with 5 lbs 1 set toes pointed out

Abs:

Same ab workout since 1999 that consists of four different types of crunches, 75 of each for a total of 300.

All workouts end with 5 minutes of stretching.

It appears after writing this down that I am in need of a few things.  At least 2 more exercises for my legs and at least one for my back.

Sitting Quietly is Hard:

I was never really good at this even when I was in 2nd grade.  I was always the girl that drove the teachers crazy, you know the one who can pay attention and talk at the same time.  At parent/teacher conferences all the teachers could say was, “Yes she is very smart, yes she does all of her homework, but she distracts other students with her constant talking.”  As an ex-teacher I know just how irritating this is, but if it makes my old teachers feel any better, this is coming back around to bit me right in my chatty heiney.. well that was kind of gross, but you get the picture.

My lack of appreciation for silence as a youngster has turned into pure frustration as an adult who is trying to meditate.  I have been working on it for 3 months in total but seriously for a month. Some days are definitely better than others. The days when I am tired or most stressed out are the most difficult. Getting the mind to be quiet so I can have alert presence is almost impossible when my day has been consumed with trying to figure out how I am going to eat while attending graduate school.

I have found the easiest thing to do is to use a guided meditation where someone is speaking to me so that I have a voice or a task to focus on.  I am sure I will need this crutch for many months to come, but on the positive side, when I do complete the entire meditation there is a definite feeling of peace that comes over me.  The stress does subside and I find it easier to focus on other things after the meditation.

I suppose the only thing I can do is approach meditation just like soda, one day at a time baby, one day at a time.