Regret Minimization

Yep. This year instead of a bunch of resolutions or goals, I am choosing a theme to try to guide my life. Of course, I can’t leave well enough alone, so I am sure I will establish some goals that represent how the theme should play out over the year. While I believe this is inevitable, the driver should be the theme, not the check off list of goals.

Ultimately, success will be determined much later by the lack of regrets for 2012. Being not so great at delayed gratification, this will be a lesson in itself.

What should I do or avoid today in order to minimize the regrets later?

November Book Club

September’s books ran over into October and then I caught up on a few magazines, so there is no real October Book Club, but there is a November Book Club-  With a really upbeat (not really) but important topic- Race.

Books Included:

An Easy Burden by Andrew Young

Started October 18th         Finished- November 1st

This book was okay. I wanted and expected a little more as a historical retelling of the civil rights era. I was disappointed and kind of bored by all of the biographical information about the author. It did make me want to read others’ accounts of what transpired during that era. I did learn a bit more about what happened, but would I really like to understand is why the movement collapsed and how can we use the experiences of that time to really rally people around today’s issues.

Children of the Dream – Children Growing up in the Civil Rights Era

Started October 25th                 Finished November 3rd

This was an interesting read. The main theme of all of the essays was how each now-adult learned about race as a child and how they learned it. Interesting was all the essays on girls hair and light skin vs. dark skin.

Race- An Anthology in the First Person

Started: November 1               Finished November 13th

I appreciated this book because it didn’t just focus on African Americans but rather other races as well. I wouldn’t call the book memorable excep the essay by Henry Gates and Audre Lord. Those essay I would like to keep copies of, although there are so many books to read that I will probably never get back to reading them again.

The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson

Started: Nov 13th             Finished: November 27th

What an amazing book! Wilkerson does a great job of weaving in the narratives of three individuals who migrated from the South to the North in three different decades with the journalism and information on the country at the time. One of the things I found most impressive was the way she was able to weave in the stories of other individuals who may have been tangentially connected to one of the three main characters. There were shocking stories to illustrate the illogicality and disgust of racism, which shouldn’t have been shocking but were.

One of the aha moments I had while reading is that we can justify the current state of race relations in the county by saying, “well, it’s is better than it used to be.” People define racism by how previous generations displayed their racism. My parents generation find the idea of lynchings abhorrent, but racial slurs and discriminatory hiring practices were not as shocking or disgusting. My generation abhors racial slurs and any outright displays of racism, therefore we have to hide our racism a little better. We do it by imprisoning a great number of the male workforce with drug laws that are inherently racist. We do it by allowing economic policies that do not give those born and raised in a racist system a fair chance of ever getting out. Let’s hope the next generation finds these policies as abhorrent as we find racist language.

13.6?

I really wish my friends weren’t runners. Life would be easier if I wasn’t so fucking competitive or if they weren’t runners. On Tuesday I will sign up to run my first 1/2 marathon. The best part, this has slipped me back into my obsessive self, meaning I spent 2 hours today planning my exercise routine for the next 4 months in order to prepare for this damn torturous event. I even got out the blender and put in on the counter, in an effort to prepare breakfast. I hate appliances sitting on the counter.

13.6- what the fuck am I thinking?

What Would I Do if I Weren’t Afraid?

So many things.

Oh The Things I Can Do

As I said a few days ago- I just wouldn’t be me if I didn’t make a list or two.  Finally- I succumb a few things I would like to accomplish.

- Create a budget that will allow me to pay down cc debt and save some money for vacations etc.

- Find a new recipe for each week

- Find some smoothie and cupcake recipes

-Sew some knitting bags

- Sew the CAPS pillows (before I no longer have a CAPS room)

- Train Lucy in sitting, staying, coming on demand

-Write and send gratitude letters

-meditate

-Run 12 miles per week

 Blog at least once a week (preferably once a day)

Re-evaluation to happen in December

September Bookclub- Fiction

September was all about clearing some books and magazines off the shelf.

The early part of September was full of Magazines:

2 Oprahs; 2 Running; 2 Real Simple; Progressive; Mother Jones; and 2 Bust.

The later part included a few novels:

Lamb by Christopher Moore

This was an entertaining read. It was just irreverent enough without being over the top or offensive on purpose. It could have been offensive, but those would be some serious pious people. I liked the portrayal of Jesus- Joshua as a seeker and ultimately a sacrifice to prove a point rather than as a completely selfless act. I also appreciated the portrayal of Mary Magadelene as an actual disciple, not a whore or girlfriend. Biff was by far the best part and was perfectly real enough to make the story work.  I liked it enough to check out some other Moore reads when I feel as if I only need to be entertained.

Double Bind by Chris Bohjalian

Eh? It was interesting, but as a mental health professional there were parts that were a little much.  The main character’s breakdown was a little to rushed and not nuanced enough. Her friends and families reaction to the signs and signals were right on though. Also, difficult to deal with was the perfect coincidence that the main character some how ended up working with and caring for the father of her attacker. Overall- entertaining enough, but I expected more.  I liked Midwives and Before You Know Kindness, so I might check out another Bohjalian book but likely from the library.

End of September brought another magazine and the start of Foxfire by Joyce Carol Oates- this one will probably continue into October and may get a mention there.

So Far- Not Perfect

This whole two hours of screentime hasn’t been easy so far, but it has allowed me to be productive.  Crafting t-shirts and keeping the house clean have been much easier. So far already this week I have changed sheets on two beds, designed and 1/2 crafted two t-shirts and gave the puppy a little undivided attention. Oh and also finished a book and blogged a bit more.

So far the most difficult thing has been losing the connection to pop culture and world events. I guess I worry that if I don’t watch t.v. and stay abreast of what’s relevant in today’s color, no matter how silly or stupid it might be, that I will have nothing to connect or talk to people about. There is a lot of arrogance and quite a bit of cyncism buried in that comment. It boils down to I don’t trust that the world around me is willing to rise up and talk about meaningful events and literature and willing to debate and examine life.  We’ll see.

How to Increase Your Productivity

Yep- that’s right its all about limiting my screen time. This has actually not been too hard. I was a little worried about how painful it might be with the new fall season of television starting, but really all I have had to do was prioritize. Well, and keep the DVR in good working order; as long as we don’t fill it up, then I think I will be okay. I have also just eliminated a great deal of time I used to spend on facebook.

With all of this new time so far I have been able to keep up with cleaning and laundry, sew buttons on a sweater, do mid-week shopping/errands, play with the puppies each night, go for a few more runs, finish a book, get more sleep, and write on this silly thing a little more.

I feel better both physically and psychologically- more productivity = a happier me. Of course, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t need to plan all of the things I am going to be able to accomplish due to this new time added to my life.  I’ll save that for the next post. Many lists to come.

August Book Club- Science

August was all about Science-

Books included:

The Elegant Universe by Brian Greene

An amazing book that is way to complicated to understand in one reading. This book took most of the month to finish, but I will definitely be reading it again. I am not sure why I am so enthralled by the idea that we really have limited knowledge about the universe and its beginnings, but that we do know is all expressed in mathematical formulas.  I love the idea that everything is about energy, and in my extension- intention about how we use that energy.

The End of Science

There was nothing really unexpected in this book. The thesis being that there will be no new discoveries; all great discoveries have already been made. I am not sure that he proved his point in any of the areas, but even if he did I am not sure the point. While there may be no new discoveries, science is still crucial to our civilization, so what is the point of belittling it?  I did learn a little about some areas of science and some scientists that I have never heard of, so there was something useful in the book.

Galileo’s Daughter

I couldn’t ever get into this book. I forced myself to read 100 pages and then put it down. I am not a historical fiction type of gal, but I gave it a shot.

Mozart’s Brain and the Fighter Pilot

This one was more of a self-help book about how to make yourself more intune and essentially smarter. It focused mainly on memory and it could be because it was published more than 15 years ago that I had already heard of all the exercises explained in the book. Thankfully it was short, so not much time was wasted.

June Book Club- Activism

June is all about changing the world. I finally mailed in my application for the LGSW exam. In honor of that- activism and making it better.  Books will include:

Bank to the Poor  Muhammad Yunus

Started: 6/1/2011

Finished 6/10/2011

Yunus absolutely deserved his Peace Prize. His desire to help his people is admirable as was his inability to take no fo ran answer. The micro loan idea is so smart and works so well in countries where it is easier to start businesses and there is a culture of entrepreneurship. I am not sure how it would work in the poor urban areas of the US, but there must be a way to take the lessons Yunus learned and transform some communities. One idea could be the local currency that is being tried in Baltimore. Other ideas to come-

New Beginnings

Started 6/11/2011

Finished 6/20/2011

This book had a great cause it was supporting, Tsunami Relief, but it was irritating that there were first chapters of novels masquerading as short stories. Only a few of them stood up on their own, others fell quite flat. It is unlikely I will look up many of the novles as I found the book not entertaining but instead disappointing.

Healing the Soul of America by Marianne Williamson

Started 5/20/2011

Finished 7/1/2011

This was the first book of Marianne Williamson’s that I read. I found it kind of duh. I appreciate the thesis and purpose that if we really want to heal the soul of America we have to engage in political action and be active participants in the democracy. Here political ideology was no different from mine and worked to embolden my case, but I need little emboldening in reality. Some of the ideas are interesting to focus instead on the positive of what we wish to see in the country and to hold group “think or focus-ins” is a great idea. I was a little disheartened by what she chose as the three horrible things we must ask forgiveness for. Slavery yes, but the Vietnam war made the book seem out of date. How about what we are doing now, the imprisoning of young african american men and the cycle of poverty this creates. I wish she would have addressed this a bit more. Maybe if there were an updated version.

How to Change the World by David Bornstein

Started 7/4/2011

Finished 7/12/2011

This book was a not really remarkable. There were a few stories that contained a nugget or two of what it takes to start and sustain a nonprofit, but my social work degree might have made this book a little less useful.