I was never really good at this even when I was in 2nd grade. I was always the girl that drove the teachers crazy, you know the one who can pay attention and talk at the same time. At parent/teacher conferences all the teachers could say was, “Yes she is very smart, yes she does all of her homework, but she distracts other students with her constant talking.” As an ex-teacher I know just how irritating this is, but if it makes my old teachers feel any better, this is coming back around to bit me right in my chatty heiney.. well that was kind of gross, but you get the picture.
My lack of appreciation for silence as a youngster has turned into pure frustration as an adult who is trying to meditate. I have been working on it for 3 months in total but seriously for a month. Some days are definitely better than others. The days when I am tired or most stressed out are the most difficult. Getting the mind to be quiet so I can have alert presence is almost impossible when my day has been consumed with trying to figure out how I am going to eat while attending graduate school.
I have found the easiest thing to do is to use a guided meditation where someone is speaking to me so that I have a voice or a task to focus on. I am sure I will need this crutch for many months to come, but on the positive side, when I do complete the entire meditation there is a definite feeling of peace that comes over me. The stress does subside and I find it easier to focus on other things after the meditation.
I suppose the only thing I can do is approach meditation just like soda, one day at a time baby, one day at a time.
