Thinking back on everything you have read so far, write what you have learned about inner purpose:

Inner purpose very simply is accepting and appreciating the present moment.  It is the realization without labeling or intellect getting in the way that only now exists, that there is no future happiness or suffering but only the present moment. It is with this awakening that you must approach presence.  Inner purpose is the realization or the awakening to connectedness that is life.  It is more than a mental concept it is a perception that all life is the same and that we are not a part of life but are life itself, we are life experiencing itself in this life form.

I am still currently seeking my outer purpose.  What I know of it right now is that it is a drive to make the world a better place, but if I can’t change the whole world than maybe a community or maybe just one person’s life.  I believe that my outer purpose might be to help people find their positive energy and channel it in a way that better serves themselves and others. I am sure it isn’t through teaching or education; it might be through work with teenagers, but this I have not solidified yet. Right now I am on the path to this purpose and simply being on the path does bring me some joy but because the path is difficult and very busy it also brings me stress or better said, I react to it in a way that causes me stress.  I do not believe that my inner and outer purpose are yet aligned because I am such a planner and I tend to fall into the if only and i’ll be happy when trap. I can only do the one thing that all of us who are awakening can do to align the purposes and that is realize that there is no future there is only now and that I must find great joy and acceptance of presence before attempting to plan for postive change in the future.

A sense of responsibility has alway permeated my life. I don’t feel any more responsible than I did before becoming more present. I struggle still with understanding the difference between responsibility and guilt and also with judging those who do not feel the same responsibility that I feel.

I have begun to take deep concious breaths whenever I feel myself becoming impatient or irritated and also when I find myself judging myself or someone else.  It is amazing how quickly the feelings and thoughts dissipate after just three breaths. At first I waited for the thoughts/judgements/feelings to return but now I am happy to continue on with whatever I am doing in a more present state reminding myself that the purpose is only to do what I am currently doing and no other thing. This is such a freeing feeling that the feelings/thoughts/judgements really do leave after only a few seconds.  Sometimes I can feel ego in me struggling to gain the control that she is losing.

I am workign this week to focus on the small things instead of the overwhelming idea of changing the world right now.  This also is a freeing emotion and feeling that all I need to do is what I am right now doing and as long as their is focused positive attention behind it then I am fulfilling my inner purpose.

I am also working harder on just being present with people and giving them my full attention.  I have noticed in my interactions with the roomie that conversation is much more pleasant and I am not constantly judging.  I notice at work that I notice things about people that I wouldn’t have noticed before because I was too busy waiting for my turn to talk or preparing to do something else.

What does true success mean to me?

Well before reading the book. it meant getting everyone to see where I was coming from and getting them to agree with me that whatever I was doing/saying was correct all of this under the guise of changing the world for the better.  Sounds good but ego was constantly in the way just trying to empower herself more by judging others to be less than because they didn’t care about (insert whatever cause here) like she did.  Now I am slowly (inspite of combative ego) forming a new definition.  This new defintion of success is that the presence/being that is me is evolving everyday into a more present and positively intentioned being that the being is focused on accepting the temperant nature of things and is joyful in this acceptance.

Thoughts during class:

All human beings have the same inner purpose but we may all have different outer purposese.  Also, the end can not justify the means because the end product will carry the energy of the means into the end product. You can only manifest that which you already are.  You do not feel good becasue something good has happened to you, something good happens to you because you are in essence in goodness.

Wanting for things is okay, what isn’t is not wanting this moment to be any different than it is. Once accepted as is then the moment can be better dealt with. Greatness is being true to the small moments not striivng for the big moment.